<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>May this letter never find you by bunnnyyymyeon</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26458657">May this letter never find you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunnnyyymyeon/pseuds/bunnnyyymyeon'>bunnnyyymyeon</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EXO (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Character Turned Into a Ghost, First Love, Jongdae's Birthday Week 2020, Secret Crush</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 07:29:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>999</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26458657</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunnnyyymyeon/pseuds/bunnnyyymyeon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>You are my only light (my only light, light that shines my heart), a secret that no one will know (that secret kept between us two), you're a painting that shines the brightest (my painting, very beautiful painting, love) - EXO, First Love</p><p>Jongdae wrote a love letter for his crush, wanting to keep it to himself, even after his death.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kim Jongdae | Chen/Kim Minseok | Xiumin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Challenge #7 — Out of Order</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>May this letter never find you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi hi! This is my first time writing for this ship, and oh well, tadaaaaaaaa~ This work is a bit emotional towards the end, read the tags, and proceed with caution! Am trying my best to describe the character, and if there is some inaccuracy, please forgive me, and am trying to deliver the message well too. Hoping for this to somehow give comfort to all of us.</p><p>p/s : big thanks to E for endless support, ideas, and welp, beta-ing.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>---</p><p>Minseok smiled as he put down a bouquet of yarrow.</p><p>"Hey, I came again this year. It has been years, but I still remember you the same. I kept reading the letter, line by line. And my favorite line is still that - 'I like you, Kim Minseok. A lot'..."</p><p>---</p><p>Minseok had enough. It has been days, and seriously it started to bother him, as much.</p><p>He stomped, walking towards the currently standing boy, or ghost, or anything the other one was now.</p><p>"Why are you following me?"</p><p>"You really.. can see me.."</p><p>Minseok rolled his eyes.</p><p>"Sorry, I just.. Need help.. And you are the only person who can see me," Jongdae bit his lips.</p><p>"Why don't you just tell me what you want instead?"</p><p>"I'm thinking what to say.. and I thought you would be uncomfortable doing me a favour.."</p><p>Minseok sighed. "Would I talk to you if I'm uncomfortable?"</p><p>"N-no?"</p><p>"There, you got your answer. So, tell me Jongdae, what should I help you with?"</p><p>"You know my name?"</p><p>"Isn't that a given? You take care of books in the library."</p><p>“O-oh, right."</p><p>"So?"</p><p>"Help me throw this one letter, please. Just throw it, never open it. At all."</p><p>--</p><p>
  <em>Rain continuously poured. Rainy summer was Jongdae's favourite, but now he can no longer love it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The moment Jongdae felt the momentum from the collision and he was up in the air, he only thought of his favourite book under the shelf in the library, his love letter in it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He closed his eyes, hoping he would somehow find a way to get rid of it, as the water puddle on the road stained red.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Days had passed, and Jongdae was still at the bus stop, somehow feeling attached to it. After all, he died right in front of the bus stop, where that damn car came out of nowhere and slammed against his small body.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He saw Junmyeon and Jongin wailing that day, hugging his dead body in the emergency room, quoting that it was all their fault - they should never have left him alone.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But deep down, Jongdae knew it wasn't their fault. No one could deny fate. It was fate that he died on that rainy day.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>His train of thought was interrupted when he saw someone squinting at him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was Minseok. And Jongdae was 99.99% sure Minseok could see him. Out of all people in this world, why was his crush the only person who could see him? And asking his crush to get rid of a love letter for himself, sounded contradictory, wasn’t it?</em>
</p><p>--</p><p>Minseok searched for the book like crazy. There were no shelves that he hadn't checked, not the last one at the corner. He huffed, sticking his arm under the shelf before he hit something.</p><p>The book.</p><p>He pulled the book, flipping it until he found it - the letter.</p><p>Curious, instead of throwing it, he opened it.</p><p>"That's why you want to get rid of this, so badly,"</p><p>--</p><p>The rain was pouring as Minseok found the other boy, on the bench near the field.</p><p>"I-I guess you threw it. Thank you." Jongdae smiled as he watched the raindrops.</p><p>"Will you go now?"</p><p>"I.. don't know. I should have been gone by now if I'm here because of my unfinished business"</p><p>"Guess you still have unfinished matters."</p><p>"What-"</p><p>"You like me?"</p><p>Jongdae's eyes widened. "You opened it?!"</p><p>"I'm sorry, that was wrong of me, but did you ever think about letting me know?"</p><p>"Never. How could I? You are so up in the sky, I can’t dare to touch you as I am merely dirt on the ground below. I don't deserve you-"</p><p>"People don't deserve anyone. All people deserve is happiness-"</p><p>"But what if I don't deserve that too?"</p><p>"Why would you think that?"</p><p>"Everything in this world screams that. I lived my whole life believing I didn’t deserve that. No one ever tells me. No one.”</p><p>"Then, let me be the one. You deserve happiness Jongdae, because you too, were once the happiness to others."</p><p>Jongdae let out a soft sob, "T-thank you, for telling me that. I can feel it, my time is running out. Before I go, I want to say I like you, Minseok. My happiness has always been you."</p><p>The rain stopped, Jongdae was gone. And Minseok was left with a love letter. For himself.</p><p>--</p><p>
  <em>Jongdae was on the bench with his brothers, eyes fixed on the game that was currently in the court. It's soccer, their school's team was leading, against the other team.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Stop staring at him. You are really obvious in showing your crush!" Junmyeon nudged him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Why not tell the whole school about me liking the captain, now?" He hissed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Say Dae, why don't you confess?" Jongin asked over his sandwich.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Remember my wallflower label? May we discuss my first attempt to befriend people and how it didn't end well? In conclusion, wallflowers can never be with famous jocks."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Hey, don't say that! Who said you are a wallflower? Let me fight him! Besides, Baekhyun is a dick, he did that prank shit to all!" Jongin replied.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Jongdae smiled. "Sometimes what people say remains for a long time, etched in your brain. I don't deserve him, or anything."</em>
</p><p>--</p><p>Minseok opened the letter.</p><p>
  <em>Dear Minseok,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I hope this letter will never find you. This is sort of a confession letter, as I will never have courage to tell you face to face.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I wish I had.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>One time, I saw you in the library - searching for soccer books. You are so different, looking ethereal, and I am crouching at the corner, all by myself.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>How can I fall in love with you? Love is strange, indeed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But, still,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I like you, Kim Minseok. A lot.</em>
</p><p>---</p><p>"..because, I like you too, Kim Jongdae. And this is my confession. It came a bit late, isn't it?"</p><p>Minseok chuckled. "My first love, I will remember you the same, and love you more. Always."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>To those who keep questioning about yourself - whether you deserve anyone, just know, you deserve happiness. We all, deserve happiness. No one excluded.</p><p>Thank you for reading, and I love you guys, infinity💞</p><p>(And yarrow in flower language means remembrance - in case you guys wondering! *wink wink*)</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>